clarity&charity

inhishands:

Steal my heart
Hold me close
Let me hear
A still small voice
Let it grow
Let it rise
Into a shout
Into a cry

And I am restless,
I’m restless,
‘Till I rest in You
Let me rest in You

And I am restless,
So restless
‘Till I rest in You,
‘Till I rest in You,
Oh God 

(via maleli)

…The number of drafts I have in my Tumblr queue. Never published because they just weren’t right.

I’ve always loved how people were able to express themselves so well through social media; it lets people take a glance at what they’re about, how they feel about things.  I don’t feel I’ve ever been good at that, though I’ve tried.  I was just telling my boyfriend how I fear sharing something in this way because I might say it wrong, and misrepresent how I feel and what I think.  

That’s why I am much more comfortable in in-person conversations. I can correct myself and resolve misunderstandings much more quickly.  

However, I know it can’t always be done in my ideal way, and I need to get better at expressing myself, in hopes that someone, anyone, will get something good out of it.     

Serenity.  Courage.  Wisdom.  
The prayer for these things seems to stay with me.

After last night’s efforts, my closet is soo much more recognizable and organized, thanks to my wonderful boyfriend. It’s the part of my room that irks him the most - working for Eddie Bauer for three years, my closet seriously made him shudder. Haha. Still plenty of decluttering to do, but it is well on its way.

I, on the other hand, dealt mostly with my bag of stuff from my old dresser. It is ready to be thrown away, after removing some treasures that are going to be kept. These are now on my floor, waiting to be put away.

My sister, my mom, and my aunt came in looking at my pile of clothes to be donated. After a bunch of exclamations such as “Whaaaat? Why are you throwing THAT away?”, they all left with some new gems to add to their own closests. As they left, Arvic said, “Thank you, come again!”

In my pursuit, I found some envelopes from my first high school. In one of them was a welcoming letter and a card with a prayer and the Saint whom the school is named after, John Bosco. The prayer overwhelmed me, and spoke to my heart and soul; the words I try to say when praying for my future were all there. Thinking that this is the prayer given to students that are just starting high school brought a smile to my face and reminded me of the hopes and dreams I had back then.

Who would have known it would still apply to me now, almost ten years later, and after graduating from university?…

Thank You, God, for guiding me to this needed prayer.

Prayer for Direction

Lord God, It is not clear to me how I should spend my life. It is not clear to me the way I should go. I am often confused.

So many attractive things hold out empty promises for happiness.

Help me, through the prayers of St. John Bosco, who was a friend to any young person in need.

Help me to know Your will for me, and give me the courage to follow.

May I know the true joys that are only found in giving my life for others. Amen.

My room has been quite a disaster for longer than I wish to remember. My closet is a shambles. I have a bag of stuff that was on my old dresser that I need to sort through. The not-so-functional desk in the corner is littered with letters, school notes, and books. My cabinet-turned-altar is in dire need of TLC.

So, I’m finally walking the walk and getting started on it all. I’ve just finished surveying my room and I’m typing out a list of things to be done. I’ll probably need to break it down further to set some smaller goals I can actually keep track of, and so I don’t get overwhelmed. Big things on the list though are:

• Organize closet and dresser
• Sort through large bag of dresser stuff
• Clear off desk and make it functional (no longer being a student, I could possibly modify its use…)
• Determine how to organize books and trinkets (bookshelf?)
• Paint walls (purple? Yellow? Purplish yellow? (Eww. Haha))

This definitely won’t be done anytime soon. But I’m hoping it won’t all be hard work and will have a ton of fun in the process! (:

It’s been one crazy month.  Following is some thoughts/reminders/notes to self that have stuck in my mind and heart because of events this past week. 

If you are assured of the truth and people around you are against it, do not get frustrated.  Ensure your understanding of it remains, and hope that they, in turn, will also come to understand. 

If you can’t say “no”, your “yes” means nothing.
God says: You will always need Me more than the mission.

The person you love should be the decision you would make over and over again.
It doesn’t take very long to figure out if you want to be with someone.  And when you do figure it out, how long do you wait?
God is love.  When you dwell in love, you dwell in God, and God dwells in you.

Taxcollectors and prostitutes will go ahead of the prideful.
Let your yes mean yes.

Definitely feels odd not being back in school. This summer has been not unlike the last few, but it definitely had its own charm, with its own challenges, learning experiences, and memories. I know the time has come to stop being complacent; to really THINK about what I want for my life. It’s just so overwhelming. And, if I am completely honest with myself, I am scared. Of failure, of having my past haunt me, getting me nowhere I want to go. And I haven’t even determined where that is yet. I also know there are people who are there for me, to support me and help me through this, and who will be praying for me. But I have to help myself, too.

Lord, Your love and grace for Your people never ceases to amaze me. Thank you for this past summer, and once again for the five wonderful years of university life. Grant me the serenity to accept whatever successes and failures have come my way, and the decisions I make these next few months that cannot be reversed. Grant me the courage and strength to persevere through this next chapter of my life - the search for my vocation - and to be prepared for the setbacks that are likely to accompany it. Finally, grant me the wisdom to discern Your will for me. Because I know in my heart this is what will truly bring me the greatest happiness in this life. Amen. In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen.